Anne LeGare

Two weeks ago on Saturday, I was entering the home stretch of an incredibly hard mom-week.  The typical mom-weeks usually start the moment dad leaves town on a business trip. This time, it started the moment dad left the continent on a business trip!

In the week leading up to this particular Saturday, one of the kids got really sick, requiring several doctor and hospital visits. His sick-storm passed the day before he was to represent his junior high at the Central Texas History Day competition in Austin. We patched him up just in time for the event.

We got up at 6:00 Saturday morning and were setting up the exhibit in Austin two hours later. After a long day in the big city, we were finally headed home as the sun was setting.

The problem was I had no idea how to get home. I programmed my onboard GPS and listened to the turn-by-turn directions. For some reason, I was re-routed for traffic conditions, and ended up on a new toll road I knew nothing about. What’s worse, my GPS knew nothing about it either, and kept telling me to take turns that don’t exist. It was dark, and I had no idea where I was.  

So I did what was natural for me to do when I’m scared and panicked. I started yelling at the closest target. In this case, it was the GPS lady. I told her what an idiot she was. Then I got off the toll road, pulled over and asked for help.   After getting the help I needed and getting back in the car, a particularly annoying woman walked by. I thought a bad thought, and almost said it out loud, but stopped myself.

I said to the kids “I almost said a bad word back there.” They started laughing and said “Mom, you owe us like 28 dollars, because you’ve been saying lots of bad words!” (In our family we have to pay the swearword jar $1 per bad word uttered)  I was incredulous. I knew I’d said a couple of foul things, but 28 of them? Even though I knew they were exaggerating, I was disappointed with myself for the bad example I’d set.

The next morning I apologized to the kids for the things I’d said when I was scared and angry. Then I gave them lecture and spiritual lesson number 6,952, which I entitled “default settings.”

Default settings, I explained, are the behaviors we revert to naturally when we’re tired, stressed, anxious, panicked, or just plain angry. For me, 30 years of cultivating rough edges in my life made foul language my default setting in this instance. For others, a default setting could be looking for love in the wrong places.  Some might revert to using drugs or alcohol.

Default settings can be good, however. Right now, I’m typing a Word document in Times New Roman, font size 12, which is the default setting for my computer. I just sat down and started typing — no thought required. These programmed settings make life easier, and make operating our many appliances, vehicles and other contraptions effortless.

As Christians, we have been given an entirely new nature. Our old is gone. But we still live in our flesh-encased bodies. My mind has a lot of default settings that I programmed into it for many years before I became a Christian. But I have the power to adjust those settings.  I can make living for God in all areas of my life more and more effortless with each setting I choose to change.

By using God’s Word as the owner’s manual for our lives, we can change our default settings!

Luke 23:26-31: When they led Him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene, coming in from the country, and placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus. And following Him was a large crowd of the people, and of women who were mourning and lamenting Him. But Jesus turning to them said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, stop weeping for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. “For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ “Then they will begin TO SAY TO THE MOUNTAINS, ‘FALL ON US,’ AND TO THE HILLS, ‘COVER US.’ “For if they do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

I was pretty familiar with the story about Simon, the Cyrene, who helped Jesus carry His cross. But what about the daughters of Jerusalem, and what was Jesus saying to them?

These “daughters,” were women of Jerusalem who may have been spectators, mixed in with former disciples, who followed Him on His journey to Golgotha. They were weeping to see Jesus suffer so severely. They might have been filled with fear, guilt for their nation, and a sense of dread concerning what they were witnessing. I never realized they were the recipients of Jesus’ last public teaching, and it was both a warning and a prophecy.

His admonishment was dire. Their people and the Romans had just sentenced the Messiah, the sinless lamb, to death. If such a thing was possible, how could they and their children escape the trials to come for Jerusalem, and the ultimate wrath of God for what had happened to the Holy One of Israel? If these evil people could destroy a live, green tree, imagine what God would do to their dry, dead wood? Who would want to have children and raise them among such evil people and in a place destined for such horror?

Jesus’ strong words are tinged with the same pain we hear in Isaiah’s proclamations about the iniquities of Israel: “Ah, sinful nation, a people loaded with guilt, a brood of evildoers, children given to corruption! They have forsaken the LORD; they have spurned the Holy One of Israel and turned their backs on him.” (Isaiah 1:4)

How is this scripture relevant to us today, as we sit in our comfortable homes two millennia later? As a mother, I have to admit, Jesus’ utterance to the women of Jerusalem resonates with me. I am raising children in a society that is just as sinful and has rejected Him.

I read about it almost daily – here’s one frightening example from a recent Fox News report: President Barack Obama topped a new Harris poll that asked 2,634 Americans who they admire enough to call a hero. Jesus came in second.

I’m living among people who have rejected Jesus. Are we weeping for Him? How long until the dead wood is set on fire?

Daughters of the King, pray the words of the prophet Joel with me for our country: Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. (Joel 2:13)

Proverbs 6:6-8 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.

God loves ants. He mentions them in His Word in several places as wise creatures. He even asks us to observe them and learn from them. For the life of me, I never knew why God loved ants until recently.

The Texas state insect is the Monarch Butterfly! Can you believe that? I’m here to tell you fire ants got short-shrift for the insect title.

When we first moved to Texas, we were baptized by fire ants! When our three toddlers played in the backyard, one would inevitably start screaming and hopping around after stepping in an ant hill.  I’ve pinched little ants to death trying to get them to remove their pincers from baby flesh. The telltale two-pincer mark on chubby baby toes – soon to be followed by a pustule – never made me very fond of the critters.

In fact, I became a professional ant hit-woman. I learned that AMDRO is the best weapon, and I’ve sprinkled it gleefully and judiciously around many anthills.

So, whod’ve thunk I would come to love ants? What’s more, the three kids love ants too. Okay, we don’t love fire ants, but Harvester Ants are cool!

What changed us is we’ve gotten to know about 45 of them over the past year.  The kids received a Discovery Kids Ant Gel Habitat for Christmas. It came with space-age gel in a see-through Lucite container. Who knew you could buy a test tube of Harvester Ants for $5 and have them shipped to your home?

All we had to do was make four starter tunnels with a poker, and dump in our ants. That was the beginning of ant-love for us. The kit came with a little round spyglass-type magnifier we could put right up next to an ant and watch it work. We could look at his little painted-on eyes, his hairy legs, and his pincers in amazement. We were smitten. It was better than TV or a video game to watch our new pets make a home for themselves.

Within 4-5 days, those ants had tunneled an entire colony through the gel. (They not only tunneled into the stuff, but they ate it too). They were tireless, and seemed to have a system of who labored and who slept. When one of them died, they would carefully disassemble him and move him to the pile they were accumulating on the top layer.

We’ve had two of these habitats, and observed the same thing happen both times. Initially, the ants were really motivated to create their home and work hard to get everything done. But after about 10 days, they’d start to run down. They would mostly sleep in little clusters of friends, rarely building or moving around the system anymore. It was like they knew there was no more to do and nowhere else to explore. They lost heart.

It would make us so sad. We wanted to tell them they were wonderful creatures and that we loved and admired them. But they had no idea that we were out there watching, (except for being jiggled and jostled) and they certainly couldn’t understand our pep-talks.

We only found one way to encourage them. When they were all down in their tunnels, we’d take the top off the habitat, and blow into it like a big wind from God’s nostrils. That would wake them up! It was pandemonium as they would all run to the top to see where the fresh air came from. Then when they realized nothing new was happening, they’d go back to their depressed state.

Both times this happened within the ant worlds we provided, we decided we had to let our pets go. We loved them so much we couldn’t be puppet masters anymore; taking away their freedom to live in the real world. We sprinkled them into our yard and watched them take their first tentative steps to freedom, soon to abandon the habitat altogether. What a great feeling to give them a new chance at life!

Go to the ant! Consider its ways and be wise.

God loves ants.  But He loves us more! He watches over us so tenderly and provides for us so abundantly.  He has counted the very hairs on our heads, and lavished His love on us. He gave us His Son, the crown of creation, to save us from our hopeless state. He even made  His Holy Spirit available to us for the fresh breath of life daily.

But we complain about our habitat. We blame God for the mess we’ve made of our freedom. And we get depressed and give up hope. God regards our trials with great compassion. We need to look up, reach up, acknowledge His ways, and love Him back.

This is one of the most disturbing stories in the Bible. Every time I read it, I want to stand between Jesus and his betrayer. Then I feel somewhat satisfied that Judas got his comeuppance. His name has been equated with traitors ever since. What’s scary is I’ve been just like him.

In the first couple of years after I became a Christian, I was uncomfortable when my new friends would say “Praise God!” or “Praise the Lord!” They made me a bit squeamish; as I equated those phrases with people who were a little too zealous for Jesus. I observed the Jesus movement of the 1970s when I was in high school, and I certainly wasn’t going to be a “Jesus Freak!”

But in reality, I was a sellout. Outside of church services, I wasn’t willing to stand with my brothers and sisters and openly praise my King. I was content to be saved and leave it at that. The boldest thing I did in public was pray before a meal. Like Judas, I wanted it both ways: I enjoyed a relationship with Jesus when things were going well; but I sold out when things got rough.

Also like Judas, I was counted among the saved, and shared in ministry. If I had remained a lukewarm Christian, I might have continued along Judas’ path, as a guide on the broad way that leads to destruction. As I studied the scriptures, however, and started to grow in faith, I realized how praiseworthy my salvation was. When I really understood the holiness of God, I cried out with Isaiah: “Woe is me, for I am ruined, because I am a woman of unclean lips!” I asked God for forgiveness, and I vowed that I would never be ashamed to praise Him again. I would never betray Him again with a refusal to associate with Him in public.

Because of God’s great mercy, I received another chance to live a full, eyes-wide-open, and adventure-filled life with my savior, JESUS CHRIST! Now I’ve been accused of being too zealous when talking about the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Praise the Lord!

Dear God, thank you for second chances. Thank you for hearing my cry and for always leading me in triumphal processions in Christ. I love you and right now, I lift my praise as an offering to you. I give you all the glory and thank you in the precious name of Jesus Christ.

Bob contacted me through this blog, after reading a post about my mom. Please see his page  here.  Here’s what I learned over the past couple of years:

First, I’m so sorry that you’ve received this diagnosis. I know it’s a blow, and you are probably still reeling from the information. Have you found the yahoo discussion board about this? http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/cbgd_support/

Here’s a website with some case histories: http://www.tornadodesign.com/cbgd/

Before I go to the practical things, I’d have to say the first thing I would get in order for you and your loved ones is your spiritual life. I know that’s preachy, but while your mind is sound, repent (if needed) and put your trust in Jesus Christ. Then your eternal destiny is sealed and you can face this with peace and hope. I’m mentioning this first, because in my reality, this is the most important decision you will ever make. If you want to know more about this as time goes on, feel free to ask me.

Here’s the rest:

I asked my mom your question tonight to see if she had any insights. She said she wished she had followed her physical therapy routine and not blown it off. She also wished she’d been diagnosed right away like you, instead of being treated for Parkinson’s for 2 years without any effect.

I wish she had been more physically fit, and skinnier. When you can’t move, you don’t want to weigh so much that it takes two people to help you. My mother was heavy to begin with, so her immobility has packed on about another 40 pounds. It’s made me want to stay skinny for my loved ones so they can lift me, if needed. Also, most health aides are women, and have difficulty with overweight folks. I noticed on your blog that you are fit, so that’s a great thing.

I would also say if you need to repair relationships, do it now.

Perhaps you can voice record your thoughts to your loved ones or make a video while you can still speak clearly. Perhaps make a video for each person. Let them know the real you before your words come out strangely. For instance, when my mom wants to say “yes,” she says “no.” One time she said she had to go to the “garage,” instead of the bathroom. Sometimes it’s comical, but it’s extremely frustrating to her. Maybe take kids to places you valued in your childhood, so they can really know you.

The administrative things I did with my mom are:

A living will with a DNR order (learn about the DNR and see what you desire). My mom doesn’t want feeding tubes or heroic measures to bring her back to life. But then again, she’s lived her life and is 84. You are young, so you may approach it differently.

Give someone a General Power of Attorney to act on your behalf in all things (make it as broad as possible if you have someone you trust).

Give someone a Medical Power of Attorney to make all your decisions (you may have to specify what those things are after a certain point).

Do these while you can still move and sign things. My mother could not do this 2 years after diagnosis (4-5 years into the disease). We had to wheel her into the notary public offices several times — very difficult — she had to sign with an “X”.

If you have money in mutual funds or such, assign an agent as a Transfer on Death person on each account. Make sure that person is a joint authority on your checking account too, and has access to all internet accounts. This also allows your heirs to avoid probate. But hiring a good lawyer for an hour or so to go through this stuff might not be a bad idea.

I did it all on the internet through Legal Zoom for a will, the living will, and through Google search found state-specific powers of attorney.

Don’t fight your caretakers when they say it’s time for you to get help. For instance, if needed, just wear the Depends. No one will know, and you will help yourselves and your helpers. You may suffer from diarrhea for a time, and then terrible constipation. Find out now what laxatives work for you. My mom takes Miralax (lots of it).

My mother fought me tooth and nail about getting someone to bathe her (it humiliated her). But she was falling so much, she was dangerous in the bathroom, and her bad arms couldn’t reach to clean the unmentionables. After she finally gave in, she said “I wish I’d done this a long time ago.” Health aides are wonderful at what they do.

My mom still fights about wearing the clothes that help her helpers. She wants to maintain her former life, which is difficult for those of us taking care of her. We found plates, cups, and utensils that are good for the unrelenting grip. The plates have curved sides so she doesn’t push food off the plate. She won’t use the curved utensils, but again, it would help her helpers if she did. I found this to be a helpful website: http://www.wrightstuff.biz/index.html

Have your loved ones look into local Hospice providers ahead of time. I know that sounds dire, but I had no idea how much Hospice could do. When your doctor thinks you are in the last year of life, he/she can sign the hospice order. This has allowed my mom to get everything we need within 24 hours of request. All this wonderful equipment came in — stuff Medicare wouldn’t pay for before. My mom went into a funk when she heard “Hospice,” but then realized the word had no power over her destination or how fast/slow she gets there.

Don’t be afraid to take an antidepressant for depression or anxiety. This is very common, and these drugs can help immensely.

Check out message boards and medical journals about every quarter. They are learning more and more, and some drugs are available now that weren’t before. The yahoo group has been invaluable to me.

This is a lot to take in — and I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you. It will happen slowly. My mom has enjoyed these years, even through the pain sometimes. She is very independent, and understands what is going on. She is able to interact and joke; play games and watch TV. If she knew how to use a computer, she would have. She can still feed herself and brush her teeth. Quality of life is in the eye of the beholder, and we can’t judge for another what “quality” means.

I know all this is years off for you, but these are the things I’ve been doing. I hope it doesn’t scare you, but informs you. I had a big neurological problem two years ago, and am slowly recovering; but I found myself overwhelmed and scared to the point of panic sometimes. You are not alone. Others can and will walk this road with you. God will never leave you or forsake you if you put your trust in Him. I will subscribe to your blog and communicate with you along the way if that’s okay. I’ll also pray for you daily.

What is God doing in me? (2 Thess 1:4)
1. Faith working
2. Love Laboring
3. Hope steadfastly enduring

What is God doing with me? (2 Thess 1:5-10)
1. Believers are God’s instruments
a. Give testimony
b. Be a witness of God’s power
c. Be holy
2. Obey (2 Thess 1:8)
Better to seek God’s chastening through prayer/reading His Word

What is God doing in me? (2 Thess 1:11-12)
1. Be worthy (Reaffirming message above)
2. Personal holiness
3. Faith – stretch goals for yourself or no growth

Bottom Line: Application to being a fully devoted follower of Christ, connecting to ministry.

How do we relate to each other in ways that strengthen our church?

See page 80 of the quarterly and read what it says.

We need to do the following:

Respect Church Leaders (1 Thess 5:12-13)

Recognize/Esteem highly those who labor among us

1. They Lead

2. They Admonish (2 Tim 3:16)

This week’s homework: Please write a note to one or all of the following leaders:

Pastor Mark for his leadership

Jim Barker for worship/singles ministry

Matt Moore as Minister of Discipleship

Chris Williams as Youth Minister

Other church staff. Consider including wives in your thank you notes.

This is a way you can “Connect with Believers” on our 2009 Discipleship Plan.

Take a look at this Video

As promised, here’s a list of the ministry opportunities available to you at our church.  There are so many ways and places to “plug in” to the church. Our 2009 Discipleship Assessment challenges you to become a Fully Devoted Follower of Christ in four areas: Connecting people to God, Believers, Ministry and the World.  Is there an area in our church where you can serve and grow as a FDFC? Please give it some prayer and join the great adventure!

Connection Groups (Our Group Needs an Outreach Coordinator)

Preschool

Extended Teaching Care

Vacation Bible School (many helpers needed)

Mission Kids/Team Kids

Mothers of Preschoolers and MOPPET ministry (watching MOPS kids)

Royal Ambassadors and Girls in Action

Youth – Disciple Now and Camps

Mission Trips

Aerobics

Baptism Helper

Greeter

Usher

Pew Restocking

Decision Counselor

Choir

Tech/Lights/Audio-Visual

Men’s Ministry/Women’s Ministry

Deployed Spouse

Homeschool

First Place

Intercessory Prayer

Buildings and Grounds

Stewardship

Deacons

Discipling/Mentoring

Homebound/Nursing Home

Hospitality (Special Events)

Teaching Crosswalk

Legacy Outfitters